Paris Hilton was in HCMC this weekend! Or should I say "a" Paris Hilton was in HCMC this weekend ? Probably.... I was in Vascos' on Friday night, after enjoying guitar with Anh Hung. I was by myself and enjoyed very much being alone, with a beer in my right hand and good music around me ! Out of nowhere, this girl came in, waking like if it was her territory and as if she was ready to hunt. From a glance, I could tell she was Californian, very young and probably visiting and trying to get the most out of her nights.... Peroxided blond, very thin, perfect pair of jeans, very trendy top, make up as if she was acting in a movie.... PA-THE-TIC ! I have to admit that I had a good laugh just watching how she moved around. She definitely caught everyone's eye... The perfect Paris Hitlon !!!

OK, I am making fun of one of my fellows but I could also have a word about how guys are afraid by nothing and don't figure out when they cross the line...
Still in Vascos', after Paris was gone, I was still enjoying music, thinking about everything and nothing. Then this Vietnamese guy introduced himself and for about 10 mn, he tried to get a conversation with me. Even if I gave very short answers, the guy kept taking. It took him a long time to realize that I was really not interested and then he left. I felt bad because I felt like if I had been rude to him. But I was not in the mood for socialization. I was just fine by myself, with myself ! Then another guy came to chat with me. White South African, he tried to guess where I was from. Of course he guessed wrong but kept trying to be funny by making jokes. I kept low profile, short answers and the guy started to be mean to me because I was not friendly. I had to send him back to his table when he told me that I was really French and snobbish and blablabla.... The guy really got on my nerves and I told him to get lost.
So, when this black-African guy started staring at me, I lost my patience and I left the place.

What is it with them that they have to jump on ladies alone as if they were pieces of meat ? I have nothing special, I do not consider myself as cute or attractive. So I don't understand why they try very hard to get something they will never get anyways ! If I have to be mean to people who talk to me but who don't know the boarder line, then it is really not fun !

But apart from that, I had an excellent evening, very relaxing !

Usually, at this time of the year, one is supposed to wish for new things for the year to come... What should I wish for ?

Let's first take one step backward: what did I get this year ?
- an old job and a new job
- some "old" friends and some "new" friends
- a cat that disappeared
- a grand-mother who passed away
- 2 boyfriends for a short time (am too independent ;-) )
- a new bike
- an incredible camera
- a guitar with the guitar teacher that goes with
- 1 surgery
- a lot of travels ....
but mostly a lot of FUN !

So now, what should I wish to change ? Easy... :
-nobody to pass away (I cannot afford to take the plane back home too often and I am sick of crying all my tears and spend months depressed)
- more and more friends, but keep the old as well
- keep my exciting job
- meet Brad Pitt
- marry Brad Pitt
- Get 3 kids with Brad Pitt ( I know that sounds impossible to have 3 kids in a year, but hey, he showed us the way with his future to be ex-wife )
- become the feminine version of Jimmy Hendricks
- Be admired by Joe Satriani, Steve Vai and The Edge in the same time
- go for world-tour concerts
- become so rich that I would be able to fix the poverty problem in the world
- Win the next noble price ....
But mostly, I want to be happy by myself as well as with the others. And shall the rain fall, I want to have an umbrella close to me, to wait for the next sunshine !

Now, let's sing:

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Why do we dream ? I keep asking myself the same question since Saturday as I did a strange dream in the night of Friday and I cannot help but to think about it...
I was in a room with somebody from my family. I cannot tell who it was but I know it was either my mom or her sister. Anyways, I was chatting with this person until my eye caught something: my grand-mother, who past away in July, was with us, taking part in the conversation. But it seemed that no one but me realized that she was among us. And as she was talking to me, I kept repeating "you cannot be here with us because you are dead. You should not be here. Go away". But she kept repeating the same thing: "no, I am not gone. I am here with you, by your side". I do not remember the end of my dream. The weird thing is that when I woke up the next day, I did not remember that dream. And all of a sudden, as I was driving back from boxing, I thought about it...

Dreams are supposed to be a way to express our deepest fears. It is a solution to externalize our demons. But I cannot understand the meaning of this dream: did she try to tell me that no matter how long I would live, she would always be on my side ? I think so. I think it was a positive dream to remind me that as long as you keep that person in your heart, she remains with you for life.

I like to think about her in a Buddhist way: when her time came, her spirit left her body to start a new adventure. But her body went his way as well as she gave it to save others' life. There are 2 dimensions in this: the spirit goes to its next step (reincarnation) and the body goes back to dust. But before going back to dust, the body achieves another step by helping the others. My grand mother gave her body to science to help doctors to understand human body. This is a incredible gift she did and I am very proud of her !

Just think about this...

Selfish & Cold - Revelation Theory


Your voice is killing me
Your words are hard as they come
Thoughts that sit in here
Fall like bullets to the floor
Your heart is pulling me
The cut runs deeper as it flows
Scars that cannot heal
The hurt is covered to the bone
Every time, it gets so complicated
While I'm lying down in doubt
I'll just tell myself I'm leaving here

'Cause I'm selfish and I'm cold
And I feel like the world is ending
Selfish and I'm cold again
'Cause I'm selfish and I'm cold
And I feel like the world is ending
Careless and I'm lonely again
And I am torn
On the inside

The trust is dead in me
Walls close higher all around
The cross I cannot bear feels like pressure coming down
Until now
The world was never jaded
Yet I'm left here on my own
To pick up the pieces

'Cause I'm selfish and I'm cold
And I feel like the world is ending
Selfish and I'm cold again
'Cause I'm selfish and I'm cold
And I feel like the world is ending
Careless and I'm lonely again
This time it cuts right through me
I break away and I'm torn
(This time it cuts right through me)
It's not so far away
(Not far enough, not far enough)

'Cause I'm selfish and I'm cold
And I feel like the world is ending
Selfish and I'm cold again
'Cause I'm selfish and I'm cold
And I feel like the world is ending
Careless and I'm lonely again
And I am torn
On the inside
Torn torn
Torn
Your voice is killing me

Revelation Theory

and now, years have passed... Mael, Yann and Nicolas. I am nowhere to be seen ;-)

Once upon a time ....

My brothers and I, when we were about 2.

Yann the oldest
Mael the second
Me, the only girl
Nicolas, the youngest

Definitely the most beautiful babies on the world !

How does one goes from close friendship to simple acquaintance ?
It is strange to see how life can trick you. Never think you acquired something for good. You might close your eyes for a second and what you had in front of you is gone...